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This is not the post you are looking for. Or rather, this is not the post I was looking to share with you today.
Thereâs a strange thing going on in my brain at the moment (what else is new dayle) where I feel a bit divided. Allow me to let me explainâŚ
Yesterday, although intense as HECK, was, really quite amazing. My crazy italian family, for all their faults and stresses is absolutely FILLED with love. Not only was this a trip to Grandmas to celebrate her 90th birthday, but also my first time seeing any of my family since Iâve been back from the UK.
I've been coming to this apartment for family gatherings, events and sleepovers at grandmas my entire life...
I know now what @teamhumble meant when he told me I was meant to be there for this. Heck, it wasnât so long ago, that during another trip to the UK I thought I may have to book an emergency flight home because Grandma was in the hospital, I had dealt with what felt like so much loss that year, Iâm so thankful sheâs still here 2 years later- celebrating 90!
Go ahead Grandma! Cut that cake! -She put up with so much ball busting yesterday ha!
Donât worry, I did my blogger due Dayle-igence- took photos, remembered stories, recorded videos of ridiculous Italians sharing more stories at tables- but Iâm having a tough time writing this one.
Thereâs something inside making me feel like itâs not âreadyâ even though I want to get it out while things are fresh.
There were so many tears and laughs- I left completely exhausted but my heart so full, I was able to express appreciation and love to family I didnât have the emotional vocabulary for, when I was younger and knowing those things were said and hugs were shared had me leaving feeling like I had done my bit, helping to leave the folks I love in better shape than how I had left them.
Mom called me on her long car ride home to thank me for helping out, and told my about how my Uncle told her how proud he was of me, how I carry myself⌠the general consensus seems to be that the folks who have supported me, and loved me for all these years, are pretty proud with how I turned out. - And I canât ask for anything more than that.
I had grandmas 80 year old cousins lovingly teasing me all day that I worked âin the cloudâ- and I get it- Iâm not leading the most traditional lifestyle across two continents, in love with a half irish half brit co âcloud workerâ (who, yes Grandma, has a lovely accent). But I operate with passion and integrity, and I think they see that Iâve given up a lot and worked so so hard to steer my life in a direction that makes me happy and fulfilled.
Barilla on the table. Even doggo got in on the action <3
If they didnât recognize that, it would be just as well, but the fact that they do really makes me so grateful to have them in my corner.
So yes, I will be sharing stories, photos, and memories from yesterday, but today, I kind of just want to sit with them and let them swirl around my own mind for a bit. Like the taste of a sweet desert you donât quite want to wash down with coffee just yet.
Today Iâm back at Dadâs giving him a hand putting new brakes on his Harley, tidying my space, doing a bit of life admin and pushing a few more client hours until my brain is mush and I decide itâs time to âdown-toolsâ
"Look Dayle, computers ARE good for something after all!"
I hope this little message in a blockchain bottle finds you well on a Sunny Saturday in Jersey, or wherever you happen to be.
Take time to cherish the little moments today. I know that's what I'll be doing, amidst the hustle. Today I'll leave you with the print out grandma had on her fridge...
"Give up Giving Up! Hang In there!"
<3
Dayleeo
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