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Ok, headphones in. Breakfast eaten, kinda… (it was honey nut cheerios with chocolate almond milk) yoga done. All the makings of a lovely morning, but I’m feeling less than lovely today.
After a long (albeit pretty smooth) day of travel yesterday- This morning, I’m waking up in New Jersey, 3,000 miles away from the place I’m used to waking up. Away from the sounds and smells and foods and loving company I’m used to.
If you follow @teamhumble and have been keeping up with our podcasts (@teamaudio) you probably have a pretty broad idea of the way the last few days have gone. There were tears, laughs, tons of hugs, a sprinkle of anxiety (on my end) and now I’m just here.
In preparation for the long flight, I grabbed about 10 episodes of Star Trek Voyager, and maybe its because that’s my headspace for the moment, or (maybe you can just write this entire blog off as the ramblings of a jet lagged home sick nomad)…
But today I feel like I’m passing through the episode “Night”
”Crew morale hits an all-time low when Voyager must spend two years crossing an expanse devoid of any star systems or signs of life.”
Hah, ok that just made me laugh at little at how dramatic that sounds, comparing it to my situation.
No, I am not in a void. Quite the opposite. I’m feeling very on edge today. Cars whizzing past my window, horn beeps. Everything seems to be ticking or whirring or banging around me.
Maybe what I’m describing is just plain ol’ disorientation.
Maybe that’s normal for someone who’s jet lagged. I thought id be prepared for the changes coming back this time. It’s been three trips now after all, but each time I come back there’s are different challenges to face, different ways to adapt.
I know I have a lot more unpacking to do over this week.
Last night before sleep, I made the awful decision of some catching up on @teamhumble ’s vlog he posted coming back from dropping me at the airport. Needless to say I had tears running down my cheeks in seconds. (as a matter of fact here they go all over again) - I don’t think I’m ready to listen to our latest podcast yet- I could barely get through it in the moment.
A Teary eyed dayleeo messaging teamhumble just before takeoff- the folks around me must have thought I found the seatbelt demonstration quite moving....
I’m sure you get it. Emotions are running high, I’m a passionate, geo-dislocated, mystical Italian who’s in love. What do you want from me!
So what does the rest of today hold?
I honestly have no clue. - I have clients knocking on my digital doorstep, there are things on my mind and in my heart that I know need to come out in blog posts and lists. There’s organizing, and laundry to be done but I have no idea what to do, where to start. Balancing needing some structure to keep me going, and needing to rest is going to be a tough one today.
As Janeway said in the episode “Night”
“Oh, what I wouldn't give for a few Borg cubes about now; anything for a little distraction.”
In other news, I have a brand new yoga mat coming today! I left my current behind, so I’d have one both sides of the pond- I’m sure there will be a bit more yoga and some meditation as the day goes on as well.
I’m keeping it open. I’m trying to be kind to myself. I’m trying not to be emotional but it’s all a bit of a swirling free fall at the moment.
But I’ll be here tomorrow.
Thank you for being here today.
Thank you for giving me a bit of time to rebalance and rest.
I appreciate all of the love, visa advice, and understanding you all have been posting on both of our blogs. It really means the world, we’re still in the midst of sorting it all out. Im sure once Ive got a bit more clarity we’ll be able to put together an attack plan.
Now let’s see how some coffee treats me this morning.
<3
Dayleeo
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